Well guys, I’m in my last week here in Tofino.
Let’s hope I can get off the island. Today is a beautiful day, so I think there’s hope.
It’s been storming like crazy.
It’s totally epic and totally scary.
Mother Nature has the final word.
Power went out on Thursday morning, and we finally got it back on Saturday around 5pm. I think parts of the island are still in the dark, so I feel extremely grateful! Phew. Felt like camping. Thankfully I had a dry place to sleep and not in a flimsy tent in these winds.
The ocean has been amazing. Really showing off these past couple of weeks. King tides and all.
Most days this year, time felt like it just dragged on, but as I’m packing up and heading out, I wonder where all the time has gone.
I honestly don’t know what to say about this last year, the past, or even my life. All I can say I guess is that’s it’s been a whirlwind, go figure. I am a completely different person now then I was when I first stepped foot on this resort. I learnt a lot about myself.
Besides the working hours, I spent most of my free time alone. Sometimes too consumed with fear to utter a word, and sometimes lost in the unbearable loneliness. But lately, I find myself celebrating the second I can break away. From the people, and the chaos. I finally found some freedom of being alone, and some absolute peace. I find I’m not quite as hard on myself, and can mostly manage to laugh and shake my head at most mistakes. I’ve always been so scared to be alone, still am a little I guess. But the quietness between thoughts is now inviting, and no longer feel the need to fill the gaping silence.
Finally the end of 2018. Feels like I’m closing a book on my life. These chapters are done, time for a new book.
The last 18 months have been about healing. Totally focused on me. Tears of desperation would fall down my face as I continually air punched all the ghosts that appeared. Even during some work hours, my eyes would be puffy because a battle could not wait.
But I never backed down. If I fell, I got back up. I continued standing, even if my legs were weak. I continued punching, even if my arms got tired.
It’s been a little tough, but as each hour passed, each weight on my shoulders seemed to lift. Slowly, the shadows in my mind were illuminated with light. I faced each wall with bravery and perseverance, broke it down, or simply stepped over on approach when I realized it wasn’t that great in the first place.
The beginning of December came, and I noticed I was no longer wishing for a time machine. That I didn’t want to change any decision, or any event that has happened. Because of everything I went through, I am the person I am today. Stronger, more focused, healthier ( for the most part), and absolutely in love with me. I managed to fix all the broken parts. I let myself wallow, I let myself grieve. I screamed when I needed to, and let the tears fall. Then I put all the pieces back together… a little bit differently this time.
So here’s to the end of 2018. Here’s to the final few pages of an epic book filled with adventure, danger, love, hate, and all the ups and downs.
Thank you for being here with me! For reading all the words, the failures and triumphs.
Cheers to 2019! A year that will be filled with adventure, following dreams, and making wishes come true.